TMI Thursday: Candidates for Detrol?

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Last week when I forewarned my girlfriend I was digging into the vault for TMI's she guessed it would be about a trip we took in High School. Well it wasn't that one, but thanks to her for reminding me of it because I had completely forgotten. It was actually two separate trips, two different people, but the same location and the same little accident. Yea, they're a bit like the Doublemint twins. And because of this, we'll use the names of a pair of famous twins in their place...ya know to protect their persons.


My friend Mary Kate's (you like that?) grandparents had a house out on the Olympic Peninsula and Ashley and I went with her a few times to visit. It was here that we snuck vodka and orange juice in water bottles down to the beach in the dark, listened to her older and much cooler cousin play his guitar around the campfire and shucked raw oysters daring each other to swallow them whole (insert sex joke here). It was some fun times.



There was this huge tree on the water's edge the had a humongous limb hanging out over the water. You know the kind that those movie houses always have? Well this limb had a rope swing and when the tide was in you could swing down over the water. So the tide was coming in and we decided to climb the tree and Mary Kate was going to show us how it was done. Mary Kate was fully clothed, which hadn't really been thought through because when the tide was all the way in you'd have to swim back to shore.



Well tide tables are for fools people, so Mary Kate grabbed the swing and got ready to launch while Ashley and I hung out on the limb. Mary Kate braced herself and jumped on soring down toward the water. The tide had come in a tad too much causing her to crash straight into the water and sending a wave up and over head. And we laughed and laughed, you know how you can laugh forever with your friends? It was like that. And Ashley couldn't contain herself out there on the limb and wet her pants...which only made us laugh harder. I think she ended up wading into the water or taking a turn on the swing before heading back to the house so it looked like she just got wet.



And then there was a 2nd trip planned to the beach. This time we were a bit older, wiser maybe, hanging out on the beach trying to find something to do. I can't remember who's idea it was but let's just say it was mine because it was a stupid one. Mary Kate's Grandpa had one of the hydraulic boat lifts that you hook to the front of the boat and it drags it onto shore. Well I thought, hey why don't we make a harness and lift each other up Mission Impossible style. That will be awesome.







And so we set to work making a harness out of rope. I of course volunteer to go first and so we tie the harness to me and then hook up to the lift. Mary Kate goes into the shed to control the lift and when she starts to raise the lift it automatically swings the arm out over the water taking me with it. Well, not ever being in girl scouts I had not accounted for the fact that if you make a harness out of single piece of rope and then add weight, it will squeeze around whomever it is wrapped taking their breath away and nearly cracking their ribs. But the girls were laughing too hard and I didn't have enough air to say anything. And so they pulled me back to shore and I told them how bad it hurt...but insisted that they try it. Naturally.



So Mary Kate took her turn. We tied the single rope harness around her and Ashley headed into the shed to work the controls. Now when you are in the shed working these controls, you can't see what is going on with the lift. Genius idea I know, but that's how it was. So we told Ashley we were ready and she raised the lift. And there Mary Kate sailed out over the water. And we laughed, because it was painful. Mary Kate said she'd had enough and so Ashley tried to bring her back in. But not being able to see what was going on she accidentally began lowering her into the water. And I was laughing too hard to stop her. Mary Kate tried to bring her legs back and hover over the water, but Ashley had dipped her knees into the water. And then...Mary Kate peed her pants. When we finally stopped laughing enough to get her back to shore she had two wet patches on her knees and huge wet patch on her crotch. It looked like a Rorschach test.



And I was lucky enough to never pee my pants on one of these trips. Kiegels people.