Thursday, December 2, 2010

I like my dogs better than you

Last night while I scraped the reminents of a southwestern print wallpaper border from my Father in laws bathroom, I chatted on the phone with a good friend.  She was telling me how her single friend wanted to get a dog.  I told her she should tell her not to do it.  What I should've said was "don't ever hang wallpaper borders in your house."

But in all seriousness, you shouldn't get a dog.  I tell people this all the time but no one will listen.  I have no children, a partner to help me, all the time in the world and still I am frazzled by these furry beings.  They are a lot of work.  If you like to go to happy hour after work,  relax on the couch when you get home, or you hate vacuuming.  Don't get a dog.

But just like a new Mom, I will tell you that the good out weighs the bad.  That when that furry body snuggles up to you on the couch and sighs in their sleep, your heart will melt.  That it is worth it to keep blankets on the couch at all times because they are there 100% of the time, and you are only visiting for a few hours.  I'm sorry to say, but I like my dogs better than you ;)

Yes they are crazy, it's their breed...and lack of training.  I didn't want a small lap dog.  I wanted an overweight designer dog and a rescue that wasn't too big.  Just like babies, you have no idea what their personalities will be, and just like boyfriends they can't tell you the details of their past.  No matter how many times I have to apologize to you that my dog farted, or took you out by the knees with her whip of a tail, I made a commitment to love and care for them.   

If you're ready to walk in the rain, lint roll your black outfit, or buy another $10 kong because someone buried the last one.  If you have unlimited patience and vomit on your throw rug doesn't phase you, then by all means...get a dog.  You won't regret it.

I really was just going to show you this video of my very smart dog that my Mom took.  She really does eat her vegetables, just not carrots.




Please remind me of all those nice things I said about them next time Charlie eats poop...


A PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful

2 Give me time to understand what it is you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

15 comments:

  1. 6 years ago I held my childhood dog as they put her to sleep. She had pancreatic cancer. It came on fast and she didn't suffer long. My very first 'sick' day of my new job was taking her to the vet to get checked out and a pain injection. I waited for my parents to come home from Florida (a few days) and we went to the vets on a Sunday. My dog now is from the same breeder, born 5 months after my other dog died.

    I would never, ever be without a dog. That is a constant.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this post... it's so true. I wanted a dog for years when I couldn't have one due to where I lived, and the minute I could - we got one. I think all the time, I can't imagine doing this without DJ's help... and I'm with you on the "frustrations" but they definitely are outweighed by the "benefits" - especially, their LOVE. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is very true; however, i'm single and have a dog!

    there are times that i have had to give up going to HH or staying out all night with friends, but it's worth it. it's kind of like having a baby (i think...) and i can't imagine life without my little laila! all of her chewing and craziness is outweighed by how much love and happiness she gives me!

    ReplyDelete
  4. So he doesn't like his carrots, huh? That video was very cute.

    You gotta love the fur babies.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ohhhh those commandments almost made me cry especially the last one :( A vet once told me that the dog always looks around for you if you're not there!
    I'm scared that I'll love bama more than my future kids! true confession!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a sweet post. I don't have a dog, but I do have a cat who is only slightly less demanding, although she never poops outside of her litterbox, which is wonderful. She is 13 years old and I dread the day when she dies. My heart will be broken. And I love that you would consider a Christmas baby purely for the Nutcracker party theme. ;)

    ~Jenifer

    ReplyDelete
  7. Fur babies are special and it's appaling the number of people that abuse them. We haven't had one in a long time. Like the commandments.

    Other than a few of those... that could be me 'talking'. Seriously; #10 made me think of my mom. On her death bed; the hospice called me at midnight to "hurry in". Mom hadn't been awake for two days but when I got there and stroked her and said "I'm here mamma; it's Diana." She opened her eyes and said "oh good".....a few minutes later she took her last breath.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That last one brought a tear to my eye. Love my furbabies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Aww now I'm about to cry. You are right they are a lot of work and I feel terrible about leaving Claire while we are gone and you can't just go on a trip you always have to plan for your dog. But she makes us really happy and hopefully she is enjoying her house (that we just live in).

    ReplyDelete
  10. GUILT GUILT...I am guilty of saying:"I can't watch"...and of not including my children in the process to protect them from the pain...there was plenty of other opportunities for pets causing heart aches at our house...i.e. coyotes...cars... :(

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ok, those 10 commandments are making me tear up.

    I have 3 small but insane dogs. They refuse to get more than 95% potty trained, they bark at anyone who walks by my house, and they steal any food within reach.

    At the same time they are the most loving beings in the world. They follow me everywhere, and if they start to annoy me it's only because they love me too much. They wait until exactly 8:20 every morning before they start peeking over the mattress to make sure I'm awake. They are staring out the window at exactly 5:45 pm when I get home from work. They freak out at the sound of my voice. They run around excited whenever I walk in the door (even when I was only outside for 2 minutes). They gather around/under any piece of furniture I'm on and will stay there for hours.

    I love you, Suki, Dolly and Konan!

    But I agree with your advice... unless you have lots of time and unrelenting patience, don't get a dog.

    ReplyDelete
  12. ok, love this post especially because i'm pining for one so badly. :)

    but remind me not to let dave read it...maybe we should wait until our life slows down, oh wait that's like NEVER.

    i would love a reason to come home or stay home...hmmm, it's kinda like having newborn or a toddler with a nap, i miss those days!

    ReplyDelete
  13. I would love to have a dog--my husbad even moreso--but our lifestyle just doesn't fit one right now. Maybe if I worked from home!

    ReplyDelete
  14. i love this post the pet's 10 commandments are really good. i love dogs too, have had german shepherds my whole life, theyre 100% worth any hassle and i agree theyre far nicer than people :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. These are so sad and heartwarming! I've never had a dog because I've barely ever lived in a house (just apartments) and haven't felt settled enough to care for one.

    One day though! My two troublesome cats are enough for me anyways.

    What a great post!

    ReplyDelete

Say what?

Related Posts with Thumbnails